On April 28, 2006, my water broke too early, so I was kept in the hospital until I would deliver our precious baby. They started inducing my labor on the 5th of May. We waited and waited and nothing, then on the night of the 6th my contractions were coming 5 to 7 minutes apart. At around 3am on the 7th of May, the doctor finally came in and gave me my pain medication, and at 6:21am Cole Ray Hazel was born 7 weeks early weighing in at 4 lbs-13 oz and 18 inches long. I was so scared because the week I was in the hospital they were telling me all that could go wrong with him being so early. When I heard him cry for the first time, my heart just melted because they were telling me that if he didn’t cry they would need to place a tube in him to make him breathe, but that’s my boy, he came out screaming so I was so excited.
Cole was then taken to the NICU where they could run tests and start him on medication. I finally saw him around 11am and held my little miracle boy. He was the smallest child I have had, and he was so tiny, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hold him at first. Then the nurse handed him to me and I was shaking because I was afraid I might break him. He looked into my eyes and I just started to cry, and then his dad started to cry, and I thought men were suppose to be strong, but they do have a sensitive side after all.
When I talked to the doctors about how he was doing they were so set on him not leaving the hospital until his due date, June 21, 2006. Our baby Cole surprised everyone and came home on May 13, 2006, the day before Mothers’ Day, what a gift for my Mothers’ Day. We brought him home and I was so nervous about having a baby so small, but his sister Maddison just loved him, and that was her baby, and she started calling him her Big Guy.
Cole was getting so strong, he was already holding his head up, and on June 28, 2006, he started to roll over, and Maddison got so excited when she saw him do that for the first time. Cole had such a wonderful and beautiful smile and just lit up the room when he would smile. When daddy would hold him, Cole would smile like he has his Dad’s his whole life inside and out. His dad just loved when he smiled at him. He was so precious to us and we love him very much.
Who would ever known that on July 29, 2006 would be the last time I saw Cole’s beautiful smile and the smell of his breath, and the touch of his fingers on my lips, and the way he smelled when I gave him a bath? Our Baby Boy received his Angel wings on July 29, 2006 at his home. Not knowing what had happened at first, who would ever imagine waking up and doing CPR on their child. It was the scariest time in my life, and one of the most tragic, besides the loss of my mother when I was 12. Everyone showed up at our house; the paramedics, the police, the medical examiner and the coroner. When the medical examiner asked me to come with him and explain what had happened, he told me that there was nothing that I could have done for Cole, and I knew that in my mind, but in my heart I never wanted to believe him that our son was gone. When I heard him say the time of death, I just fell to my knees and asked God not to do this to me, he was just a baby, but a wise man, my father, told me that God doesn’t do anything without a reason. Though I don’t know the reason God took my baby, I know he is in the best of hands and he is flying with the angels, and Cole is now our own guardian angel.
http://cole-ray-hazel.memory-of.com
